Flock Test Post
February 28, 2007Just running a the Flock litmus for testing day (looks like I’m the first Linux fanboy here).
This is a test post.
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The stack of unopened envelopes on my desk continues to grow.
By bubbling in on my PSAT what I thought was an innocent request for a little bit of information from a few colleges, I have personally caused the destruction of several acres of pristine Amazonian rainforest.
In no particular order:
Colorado College, Whitman College, Drexel University, NYU, Williams, Washington University in St. Louis, Swarthmore, Fordham, Washington and Lee, U of Delaware, the Princeton Review, U of Oregon, Franklin, Macalester (a very large envelope), Pitzer, Dickinson, Grinnel College, Santa Clara U, St. Mary’s, U of Miami, Tulane, Champlain, Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Kenyon, Emory, Middlebury, Hamilton, Duke, Columbia, Lewis and Clark, Brown, Rensselaer Polytechnic, Rice, the Princeton Review (again), List College, USC, Caltech (attractively decorated with vector arithmetic) and last night, a lengthy letter from the University of Chicago about how it is “ironic and a little bit sad” that they should have to send me a lengthy letter in the mail.
Ironic and sad indeed.
One would think that in this marvelous age of email and high-speed internet colleges would be able to rely solely on email to communicate their message. Instead, they send three emails and follow it up with the envelope.
It just strikes me as incredibly wasteful – pathetic as it is, if I can’t be troubled to skim their email, what are the odds that I will go to the trouble of opening the envelopes from more than the few schools whose names I recognize? The thought of the thousands of pounds of paper that go directly from the post office to the landfill is enough to turn my stomach.
Let this be a warning to future test-takers: no amount of curiosity about colleges is enough to merit the flood of mail that you set into motion by filling in that little bubble.
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(Parenthetically, I’m now syndicated on Facebook! Which means people will actually read this! Whoopee!)
I should be doing APUSH right now, but I’m taking a break.
For those who have heard us talking about it all year without truly understanding the all-consuming awesomeness that is Mock Trial, here’s a brief synopsis of the case (embellished only the tiniest bit) so that you’ll have some idea of what we’re talking about when we begin critiquing Dr. Killian’s analysis in the presence of the uninitiated.
Those unfortunate enough to have seen the library trial (sober, at least) will recognize a little of this.
It is 12:23 in the afternoon, a sunny April afternoon in the placid suburban community of Park Lane. Suddenly, a phone rings at the Park Lane Police Department. Detective Rory Riley, casually munching a donut, picks up the phone expecting another prank call. She is unperturbed when a young caller with a muffled voice informs her that there is a “strange device” in a trash can at Park Lane High, but initiates an investigation in accordance with procedure. Arriving at the high school, she is shocked to discover that there is indeed a “strange device” in a trash can. The device is a clear plastic cylinder filled with a colorless liquid, with various pieces of electronic equipment strapped to the outside. It is, as far as the detective can tell, a time bomb. The bomb squad is called in to dismantle the device, and the detective (guiltily pleased that something is actually happening in Park Lane) ramps up her investigation. Physical evidence and eyewitness testimony all point to a single student, the antisocial, troubled Casey Campbell.
High-profile lawyers are called in for both sides to litigate what could possibly be the biggest scandal ever to rock tranquil Park Lane.
Casey Campbell’s parents, wealthy telecom executives who have little interaction with the community, summon the crack team of Meredith Haan, Jessica Bixby and Roya Axtle. Park Lane County, whose lawyers are unprepared to handle a case of this import, request the services of the world-renowned DAs Alice Highman, Leah Goodman and Jacob Andreas.
Testifying for the prosecution:
Detective Rory Riley, a highly competent investigator in a male-dominated force, relied on an illicit affair with the chief of police to advance in her job. But now she has a real case to prove herself, and is determined to convict Campbell and assert her independence and superior intelligence to the chauvanistic Park Lane County Police Department.
Sawyer Simpson, the star witness. She saw Casey Campbell hunched suspiciously over the trash can the morning the bomb was found. The queen bee at Park Lane High, Sawyer has everything – popularity, beauty and brains. But a turbulent family situation and a Vicodin addiction have destroyed her once-imperturbable self-confidence, and she relies on abusing other students to reassure herself of her power. Rumor has it she once drove a freshman named Brady Bravo out of the school by sending the counselor an anonymous note accusing Brady of vandalism, and some think she may be trying to do the same to Casey.
Jackie Jefferies, Park Lane’s own desparate housewife. Unable to find any attractive gardeners willing to sleep with her, Jefferies is forced to spend her lonely days trimming the rosebushes and loading up on whatever Vicodin she has left over after selling it to Sawyer. Obsessively controlling, Jamie clandestinely monitors every keystroke of her daughter Jamie’s online activity and keeps a detailed dossiers on all of Jamie’s friends hidden under her pillow. She’s harbored a grudge against the Campbells ever since they snubbed her invitation to a barbeque. When she discovers Casey playing with fire in his backyard one day, she knows she has a perfect way to get back at Mrs. Campbell.
Dr. Kyle Killian, the brilliant but insecure head of the Park Lane Bomb Squad. Graduating with a Ph.D. from MIT at the age of 22, Killian is a genius when it comes to chemistry and mechanics but has never really understood people. Spending weeks obsessively testing and retesting the device found at Park Lane High to confirm her conviction that it is a bomb, Killian is finally able to take her mind off of her growing attraction to the chief of police.
For the defense:
Cameron Cortez, Park Lane’s counselor. Alienated by the rest of the high school’s faculty because of a degenerative nerve disease that impairs Cortez’s control of her bladder and the left side of her face, Cortez has found a fellow outcast in Casey Campbell. Always suspicious of Sawyer since the Bravo incident, Cortez is determined to clear Casey’s name and make Sawyer accountable for her tyranny at the school.
Jamie Jefferies: in a move discussed at every dinner table in Park Lane County, Jamie has decided to testify against her mother on Casey’s behalf. Guilt-ridden because of her association with the Crew, Jamie hopes to make amends with Casey and renew the friendship that Jamie severed when she began to buy pot from Sawyer Simpson in the sixth grade.
Dr. Avery Atkinson, the head scientist at Lockheed-Martin and an expert in the design of explosives. To make up for the tens of thousands of Afghan children her weapons have killed, Atkinson has sworn to make sure Casey walks free and shield him from the bombs that have made Atkinson so powerful and destroyed her life.
And finally, the defendant himself. Casey Campbell has always been a little different, and has taken recently to straightening his hair, dyeing it black and letting it fall in front of his face. Ridiculed for his lack of social skills and brightly colored sneakers, Casey at first sought refuge in academics. Finding himself an utter failure in all things school-related, Campbell has instead turned to art. He still harbors a special fondness for chemistry. Filling stacks of notebooks with images depicting the violent dismemberment and death of Sawyer Simpson, Casey promised Sawyer that she would be sorry she ever picked on him. Two days later, a bomb was found right near where Sawyer eats lunch.
Is he guilty? We’ll never know….
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A project at LBL sponsored by the NSF and DOE and various other TLAs to bring particle physics to the hungry masses. Makes use of the Irrlicht engine to provide an opportunity to observe and analyze particle collisions in 3D, with the eventual capacity to examine never-before-seen events live off of the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland. Just don’t ask about the acronym.
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